Consciousness is health, self-consciousness is condition– something has failed. Some tie has actually developed, some complex. The river of awareness is not moving naturally– something international has actually gotten in into the river of awareness, something alien, something that can not be soaked up by the river, something that could not enter into the river, something that withstands entering into the river.
Self-consciousness stinks
Self-consciousness is morbidity. Self-consciousness is an icy state, blocked. It resembles an unclean pool– going no place, simply drying out, vaporizing as well as passing away. Obviously, it stinks. So the very first thing to be understood is the distinction in between self-consciousness as well as consciousness.
Consciousness has no suggestion of ‘I’, of vanity. It has no concept of one’s separation from presence. It does not know any type of barrier, it knows no boundaries. It is one with existence, it remains in a deep atonement. There is no problem between the specific and the Whole. One is merely moving right into the Whole, and also the Whole is moving right into one. It resembles breathing: you take a breath in, you breathe out– when you inhale the entire enters you, when you take a breath out you enter the Whole. It is a constant circulation, a constant sharing. The entire takes place giving to you, as well as you go on providing to the entire. The equilibrium is never ever shed. In an uneasy guy something has actually gone wrong. He absorbs but he never ever provides. He goes on accumulating as well as he has come to be unable of sharing. He takes place making limits around himself so nobody can trespass. He goes on placing boards around his being: No Trespassing Allowed. Soon, he becomes a tomb, a dead being– since life is in sharing.
Painting spontaneously
There is a popular Zen tale: A Zen master was making a paint, and he had his chief disciple rest by his side to inform him when the painting was excellent. The adherent was stressed and the master was additionally fretted, since the devotee had never seen the master do anything imperfect. But that day points began failing. The master tried, and the extra he attempted, the more it was a mess.
In Japan or in China, the whole art of calligraphy is done on rice-paper, it is a very delicate and vulnerable paper. If you wait a little, for centuries it could be understood where the calligrapher hesitated– since even more ink spreads right into the rice-paper and makes it a mess. It is very hard to deceive on rice-paper. You have to go on streaming, you are not to wait. Even for a single minute … a split minute, if you are reluctant– it is currently missed. As well as one that has an eager eye will promptly claim, “It is not a Zen paint in all”– due to the fact that a Zen paint needs to be a spontaneous paint, flowing.
The master attempted and attempted and the extra he tried– he started sweating. And the devotee was sitting there as well as trembling his head over and over negatively: “No, this is not excellent.” As well as a growing number of errors were being made by the master. The ink was running out so the master claimed, “You go out and prepare even more ink.”
While the disciple was outdoors preparing the ink, the master did his masterpiece. When he came in he claimed, “Master, yet this is perfect! Exactly what happened?”
The master chuckled, he stated, “I became aware of something: your presence. The actual suggestion that someone exists to appreciate or to condemn, to state no or of course, disturbed my internal peace. Now I will certainly never be disturbed. I have actually come to know that I was attempting to make it perfect which was the only reason for its not being best.”
Perfection happens
Try to make something best and also it will continue to be imperfect. Do it naturally and also it is always ideal. Nature is ideal, effort is incomplete. Whenever you are doing something as well a lot, you are destroying.
That’s why it occurs: everybody talks so beautifully, everyone is a talker, people talk their whole life– however simply placed them on a platform as well as tell them to chat to a group, and instantly they become stupid, all of a sudden they neglect everything, unexpectedly they can not utter a single word. Or, even if they do utter, it is not stylish, it is not natural, it is not moving. What has happened? And also you have understood this guy speaking so perfectly to his pals, to his wife, to his kids. These are also people, the same people– why are you afraid? You have actually become awkward. Currently the vanity is at risk: you are aiming to execute something.
Listen meticulously: whenever you attempt to carry out something, you are searching food for the ego. Whenever you are all-natural and also let things happen, they are excellent, and also after that there is no worry. When you are natural as well as allow things occur, God is at the back with you. When you are scared, shivering, attempting to confirm something, you have actually lost God. In your anxiety, you have forgotten Him. You are looking more at the people and also you have neglected your resource. Self-consciousness ends up being a weak point. An individual who is unself-conscious is solid, however his strength has nothing to do with himself– it comes from the beyond.
Time to look within
When you are self-conscious, you remain in problem. Whenever you are uncomfortable you are merely showing that you are not conscious of the Self in any way. You do not know that you are. If you had actually understood, after that there would certainly have been no trouble– after that you are not seeking opinions, after that you are not stressed just what others state about you. It is pointless! Nobody ever before says anything regarding you– whenever individuals say something regarding you, they are claiming it concerning themselves.
Nobody could claim anything regarding you. Whatsoever individuals say is concerning themselves. But you end up being very unstable, because you are still holding on to a false centre. That false centre depends on others, so you are constantly planning to exactly what people are claiming about you. And you are constantly adhering to other individuals, you are constantly aiming to satisfy them. You are constantly attempting to be reputable. You are constantly attempting to enhance your ego. This is suicidal.
Rather compared to being disrupted by what others say, you need to begin looking inside yourself.
https://www.yogadivinity.com/the-agony-of-self-consciousness
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